you have arrived at chaz bartok's log of shit http://shitstorm.pitas.com

Welcome to the Shitstorm. I'm Chaz.

Linkstorm:
All the old links: good shit

chaz bartok's big penis club

usounds.com


most recent 50 pitas

andrew pita

ribbit pita


nonfiction pita


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Marijuana Plants Found Outside Court House

A Green Bay television station, WLUK-TV, reported Tuesday night that it received a tip and alerted the Brown County Sheriff's Department about the greenery in a planter on the south side of the courthouse. Chief Deputy John Gossage wasn't sure of the plants' identity, but a drug officer confirmed the presence of marijuana. "Obviously, as a prank, somebody planted this or dropped some seeds into the plants," Gossage said.
10:54 a.m.

Sexual Liberation Army

This is the hottest page out there right now, by my main man Doc Menlo and his lady Pagan Moss. Check it out.
10:30 a.m.

STROKE IT!!

Naw it's not what u think-- I finally got my writing gig back with USOUNDS.COM, and my new review is of The Strokes. Stroke on Brothas!
10:20 a.m.

Jamie Presley

I'd love to press her jamie... what a hott chick, highly recommended near nude starter kit here..
04:08 a.m.

klum!

what a goddess.... the best shots yet of Heidi
05:11 p.m.

jolie

movie stills
01:24 a.m.

naked chix at the beach

It's two degrees outside, my tandy is wheezing like a dying man, and i'm drunk as shit. now do you know why pix of hott chickens naked at the beach appeals to me? ya fucks
01:22 a.m.

Tatjana Heaven

The most beautiful blonde all-nude supermodel in Eastern Europe. What an amazing site... I just had to reboot my Tandy cuz my hard disk just about busted from trying to download all these awesome pix
04:17 p.m.

Int'l Celebrity Sexcapades

some decent and semi-rare naked celebs...includes a black and white staphanie seymour and kate moss non-nude semi-lesbo photo
12:12 a.m.

Asian Chix from Ichiban

Man I love those asian chicks. Well not really, I guess I like whatever I can get...luckily on the internet you can get just about anything...
11:59 p.m.

UMA NUDA

oh sweet uma, lick my wounds as the tears wash down my face...
02:37 p.m.

Alien Sex Fiend

If you're into trashy sci-fi chicks doing massive ugly aliens, this is the site for you. Link via the one and only Gerdo
11:25 p.m.

GET ON THE SHITLIST

Sign up for my Shitlist if you're a true fan. Fiction, images, links and more. If you're in the Big Penis Club, you still need to sign up for this.

JOIN CHAZ BARTOK'S SHITLIST:
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11:22 p.m.

Helen Lindes: Desnuda!

If you're looking for those Miss Espana 2000 nudie pix, this site has 'em, the old one I linked is no longer working.
04:14 a.m.

Lorna Pagnani, NUDE

This slutty Italian starlet is reportedly trying to break into the American market by auditioning by day, and club going by night. Yo she can break in this-a-way anytime. We need more loose Italian babes in the country, I've had enough of these prude Gynological Gwynth types, all sticks n stones and not an ounce of spice. Lorna's got spice to spare, I wish I could find some better nude pix, but this will have to do for now..
02:06 a.m.

Staphanie Seymour: nude

I wanted her when she was Axl's wife-- but that was a barrier friends just shouldn't cross. Even though we'd never met, i knew I just couldn't go there. Thank god for the internet and the perils of rockstardom, is all I can say.
12:58 a.m.

More Laetitia

I ought to stop searching the internet for pix of this french siren. BUT I HAVE A PROBLEM GODDAMN IT!
12:53 a.m.

Quality Nude Celebs

good, hi-rez pix of Drew, Demi, Goldie, Farrah, Gillian, and Cindy. If you don't know who I mean than you're on the wrong page so beat it and leave me alone. I got whiskey to drink and porn to peruse and I dont need your damn intrusions!
12:51 a.m.

Viagra is for Everyone!

I know that a lot of horny ol' dudes read this page-- hey it's cool if your pecker don't always work the way you'd like it to. Next time you want to follow chaz's awesome celeb porno links, you need to make sure when you get there, that it was worth your while, right? A certain Mr. Chow sent me an email to let me know that Viagra is for everyone! Even if you don't need it. This site will give you the viagra no matter what-- and that's good to know.
06:42 p.m.

Sexy Fun in the Sun

I went to a nude beach once. i pictured myself beating off nude girls with a stick, instead all i got was some 60 yr old homo beating his own stick and grinning at me like a crazed zoo-monkey. i dont know if it was my flabby (yet bony) physique, my greasy (yet stringy) hair, or my acne-scarred (yet acne-scarred) face, but something had this guy hot as hell. while it was good for my flagging self esteem and all, it still didn't change the fact that no hot chicks every hang out on naked beaches, ever. except on the internet, of course-- sure, the porn pages are loaded with "sexy fun in the sun." the above link is one of the best i've found in a while/
02:20 a.m.

Stile Prokject

By the way, that last entry came from my new favorite site, stile project. the front page is pretty tedious, so i never realized all the great shit contained within. so many great galleries, including this one of my favorite, drunk sluts. I could write a book on how much I love drunk sluts, to me it's nature perfected... and when i get drunk, man there's nothing I'd rather have on my left side than a drunk slut. (I always keep my whisky and my ashtray on my right side)
10:26 p.m.

Laetitia Nude

Oh be still my beating...uh, heart. The world's most beautiful tax dodging frenchwoman. Let's just say that once you download this gallery, drink a little whiskey, smoke a cigar or 2, you won't need to leave the house for 4 days. Trust me. Even my tandy gets excited when i load these pix, and that's saying alot because my computer is gay.
10:23 p.m.

Uncle Perv's Lab

This is basically a site with just a couple pix, in order to get you to click on ads. However uncle perv's tastes are a lot like mine: young (but not 'teens'), innocent, with hott bods and slightly strange expressions. worth a quick peek. Great domain too, PersianPussy.com, which has its own collection of free pics.
10:08 p.m.

Boobscan

An old favorite appears to be back-- what a wonderful use of network technology... chix scan their boobs and send them in-- each month's winner gets a boobscan t-shirt. why this site isn't raking in the dough i'll never know.
10:07 p.m.

Bijou? Yeah last night, why, Bijou?

America's hottest 19 year old sex-fiend bares all in this sexxxy mag spread. link via old buddy Gilberto Gil. Thanx buddy. Send your links to: cz1679@yahoo.com I'm getting ready for weekend, gonna find me my own personal Bijou, know what I mean? If I don't, it's always nice to know that my Tandy is stocked with porn.
12:13 p.m.

Jolie: the Collection

Angelina is my favorite star, but sometimes i consider her a loss because she was probably 4 years and 2 drug habits shy of becoming the best porno star ever.... she can still push my tin any time, knowwhatimean? yeah, I'd raid her tomb like she was Lara Croft. Hmm, turns out she is One problem, if I ever really did find her on my stained matress, I might be gone in 60 seconds. anyway click the pix already, ya fucks!
12:54 a.m.

PassWordPimp

get all your free porn passwords from the original password pimp.
11:41 p.m.

Anna, 19, E. London

Sometimes even I get sick of the celeb crap and want someone real- like a bangers-and-mash-fed Londoner with juggs to spare...
11:18 p.m.

Jameson Whiskey: a Man's Drink

Ever have one of those weekends when everything goes your way, when all the chicks just think you're the man of their dirty dreams, and every door opens precisely before you stride through it, walking the cock's walk and talking the doc's talk? me neither. Damn, these days I'm happy if my Tandy doesn't flip out and my NetZero connection is faster than 24.4. Shit. Yeah I went out this weekend and I even managed to get laid but it was about as satisfying as a cold case of Coors Cutter. So on Sunday I opened up a bottle or 2 of Jamesons and got real happy. Keep yer Johnny Walker Gold Label, your Knob Creek, your 15 year ld aged single malted oakperfumed krap. Jameson's is the man's whiskey, the only real whiskey worth drinkin'. And wouldn't you know the site's a real corker too. Of course I can't see the flash version thanks to this fuckin 'computer' but hey, the non-flash is not too shabby. buy yerself a case, check out my selection of celebrity porn, and just chill. it will get better. it better.
06:54 p.m.

Oh Kate

more Kate Winslet, she can smoke my holy any time, yeah.
11:56 a.m.

Brazil!

Been gettin' lots of requests from all my fans for some naked brazillian types. now i've been around the world, and pussy is pussy, but when you get something stuck in your head (like that brazillian pussy is the hot shit right now) sometimes you just can't get it out of there. so here ya go, 12 thumbs of hot brazillian sluts getting nasty. enjoy!
11:52 a.m.

hott shitt

you know normally I have to spend minutes, or even hours searching for the highest quality celebrity porn. i mean the real shit, with real hot chicks (none of this "oh sarah michelle gellar is so hott if you squint your eyes and imagine she had an ass" bullish). finally there's a site that has all the hott asses you could need, plus the best Q-and-A online. so go there now. Plus if you go there, the site's bastard only will put his precious Natalie Portman pix (see below) back up. bastard.
01:31 a.m.

Natalie Portman: nekkid

Ah, young Natalie. I went out tonight to a hollywood style bar, you know, lots of chicks in leather pants and cowboy hats, looking for hot "young actors" they think are going to rock their worlds. I was like, I'm chaz baby, I may be a drunk, acne-scarred 40 year old with bad breath, no money, and a shit car, but I'll rock you like you never been rocked before and shit. somehow i still ended up parked in front of the tandy with a glass of Jameson, searching for celebrity porn... ironic in a roundabout way. thanks to my new bro Gilberto Gil for the URL...
03:04 a.m.

Madonna...

There's nothing better than Madonna Naked. Am I right, or am I right? This is the best page of Naked Madonna pix I have found, and trust me, my Tandy has worked overtime on this particular search. This page has what appears to be the full text and pix from SEX, plus an amazing collection of nudes.
04:15 a.m.

Carmen Electra: Nude!

actually, 1 nude shot, a few w/clothes, and a few topless...
03:59 a.m.



02:23 a.m.

today show tittie flasher

I'm surprised this is the first time this has happened. I know if I was a chick, I'd be doing lots of flashing all over the place... it's good for society in general. of course it was online in minutes....turns out she did it for $1,000 from a pair of shock jocks.
02:14 a.m.


wow it's been a while, eh? I'm just getting back into the groove. life has been pretty nice lately, i've been off the computer and pursuing some other fine pursuits, such as Jameson Whiskey, Mild n' Natural Cigars, fine herbs, and lots of drunk chicks. the best part about drunk chicks is that they tend to hang out in bars, and that's where I hang out too, because I'm looking for drunk chicks. i like it when shit is logical like that, you know? in this topsy-turvey world it's nice to know that some things just work. but anyway "the money" has runned out and it's time to get back to the computer. shizzle mcgizzle is what I say to that. anyway i'm still gettin' back into it, but a re "design" is coming up, and lots more chaz action, including my porn star weekend party zone fun time action hour. peace to the nickle. --chaz
01:48 a.m.

Beach Babes!

who doesn't love lucious beach babes? not me. Not me meaning that I do love beach babes, especially the lucious ones.
01:45 a.m.

Sophie Marceau Nude

yo, fucks, i know i've been gone a while but life's been sweet. even sweeter now that brand new Sophie Marceau celebrity nudes are in. by now my fans know i love the european nudies, specially french nudies with nice little nip nips. this page don't dissapoint, with a few excellent shots.
01:41 a.m.

Medieval Porn

Unfortunately not the real kind, but the 20th centiry staged version. pretty funny though nonetheless...
01:21 p.m.

Helen Lindes: Escandalo!!

Helen Lindes was all set to be Miss Spain... and then the scandal broke. Seems the gorgeous young shapely model had done some topless work earlier in her career, and she was stripped (no pun intended) of her title. The NY Times, LA Times, and Washington Post all covered this story, but only the SHITSTORM brings you the photogrpahs...
01:18 p.m.

D.O.N.A.L.D.

The world's first religious organization based on the teachings of Dondald Duck is now online. In German.
01:10 p.m.

Real Butts Dot Com

the name says it all...100% real butts, no fake butts here, no sir.
03:05 a.m.

Was Shakespeare Gay?

uh...
03:00 a.m.

Kate Winslet... ahhh

to me there's something so refreshing about Kate Winslet. the only thing more refreshing than her preformances is looking at almost-nude pix of her on the internet. ahhh
04:58 p.m.

More Madonna Nudes

yeah yeah i know. I post too much porn, blah blah blah. can we just take ourselves down off the cross and wash our own feet for once! or twice! or in the middle of the night in front of the computer! and yeh i know i already posted some madonna nudes but here are some more, just what you need... and if you don't then just piss off and quit yer whinin
04:54 p.m.

Best Naked Celebrities Ever

I know why people visit this page. it's not for my biting social commentary, or my drunken ramblings. you're all just a bunch of internet pervert wieirdos. welcome home. This page has some great shit, including the best online free pics of Ginger Spice and Kate Moss that I've seen. Enjoy it you sick fucks.
03:37 a.m.

when good girls go bad

I always wanted to go to New Orleans for Mardi Gras so I could get a looka sum a them good girls gettin all bad and shit. Thanks to the internet, I can spend my money on Coors Lite and Jameson Whisky instead. Thanks again, internet.
11:00 p.m.

Monkeys like to do it just like Chaz

The only thing funnier than people having sex is when monkeys do it. I used to have this one girl, I think her name was Betina-- she used to always tell me I did it like a monkey. "Ooh you do it just like a monkey, she'd say in kind of a growl... Then one day I says to her, I says "how the fuck would you know, anyway?"

that was the day we broke up. (warning, this page has been up and down all day)
10:14 p.m.

It's time for pimp wars

yeah quit your whinin. i know a few days ago i said I didn't want to be a pimp, but that was before pimpwar, ok? so shut yo mouth, motha, or someone will shut. it. fo. you.
09:33 p.m.

Farrah- Nude!

You know I've said it before and I'll say it agin: when I boot up my Tandy, I want to get high, get laid, and get drunk-- just like a bar. The above link can git you all 3, if you know how to use it. A true classic.
11:26 p.m.

Radicool.com

Radicool. What a waste of a site. Email this guy and tell him to put something radicool on his page or else! I did already.
02:23 a.m.

Uh...

Pimps.com is owned by Positive Image Marketing. Fuckin pimps.
02:20 a.m.

Pussy Junkie

the ONLY website devoted to amatuers in the Arklahoma area.
02:18 a.m.

Pimp Style

For all your pimping needs. Personally I could never be a pimp, cuz what is a pimp but a big, ugly mommy. Sure he gets to use and abuse his ladies, sure he's got a nice ride and some fresh duds, but most of the time he's taking care of his women, buying them feminine products, listening to their ups and downs, strokin their egos... Any pimp that doesn't work his ass off keepin his ladies happy ain't no pimp. And that's why Chaz ain't no pimp, I don't have time for all the bullshit.
02:03 a.m.

Women-In-Prison.com

The real question is: why did it take so damn long for me to find this site?!
02:00 a.m.

Reese Withers-poon

Oh Reese, square-jawed muse of late century lust.
08:21 p.m.

Famous Celebrity Tits

Every once in a while, a web site comes along... ah fuck it, famous celebrity tits should be enough of an explanation. If it's not you're at the wrong place. Fucker.
08:19 p.m.

Stoner Rock

Every once in a while, a website comes along that makes you pause, set down your beer, stub out your cigar, and try to focus your hazy mind. Usually it's a free porn site, but damnit if StonerRock.com didn't do the same thing. Muchos Gracios to my amiga Andrew for this link.
08:15 p.m.

Wild Thing

Frankly I don't see a lot of "hollywood films." I mean, the theatres around here have a last show at 11pm. What kind of time is that to watch a fuckin' movie? I'm just waking up in a haze by then, it takes me til at least 12 to snap out of it. Luckily we have the internet to freeze-frame movies with naked chicks in em. Here's Denise Richards in Wild Things...enjoy
03:32 a.m.

Happy Zombie

Brother Love is part of the Jesus-Connect network. A lot of you probably think I'm going to bash the guy for being a Jesus hound. But what you don't know is that when I'm not drinkin, doin drugs and chicks, or cruisin' my am, I'm way into the internet. And when I'm not doing that, I pray to God and shit all the time man! So just chill for a sec. Brother Love used to smoke 10 joints a day for 10 years. Then he turned to Jesus. This is proof that you can smoke 10 joints a day for 10 years, and still get Jesus to love you. Is this a great world or what? I'm bettin 20 years and 20 joints a day is also cool with Jesus...so I'm set.
03:22 a.m.

Electric Sex

Don't let the sober design fool ya...this is a site that sells electrical sex products.
03:19 a.m.

Page 3 Girls...

Shit I love England. Where else can you get a hot, topless girl staring at you as you turn the page of your morning rag? Not in puritan America that's for damn sure. Now I can keep up with the best part of brit culture n shit.
04:00 p.m.

Domi's Schaf Page

This guy is really into sheep. Really into Sheep.
04:33 p.m.

Trans Am Tribe

If you love ams, this is the page for you. If you don't love ams, then why don't you go fuck yourself.
04:18 p.m.

Helena Christiansen NUDE!

I've said it before and I'll say it again...the internet is the best thing to ever happen to nude celebrity lovers. You can quote me on that, you measly fuckers. Sorry. I'm in a bad mood since last night I got booted out of my favorite bar (again) for being "too drunk." I told 'em, I said look here you fuckers! If I knew I couldn't get too drunk, I never would have come in this fucking place in the first fucking place. That's what I said except it was less coherent. Anyway I got home round 1:30, booted up my fucking Tandy, and made of a night of it with the lovely Helena Christiansen...
03:26 p.m.

USOUNDS: LE INTERNACIONAL

Hey pals, like mp3s? Like cutting edge commentary from worldwide studs such as myself? USOUNDS is the page for you!
01:37 p.m.



01:37 p.m.

Chaz's Big Penis Club

JOIN TODAY:: For people with big penises. The real deal only-- if you're large, in charge, or just think you are-- join my club today. Become a 'member' in the most bad-azz club on the web. First 50 members will get a special message from yours truly.
05:54 p.m.

Something Chaz Don't Need

Maybe a penis reduction.... nah forget it. I'm big and I'm proud, say it loud! All those fake penises out there really piss me off! This paper is reporting that penis enlargement is the "cool new thing." Well fuck that, I say;.
05:32 p.m.

KYOSHI FRANK HARGROVE: Badass Nunchuku Warrior

Frank Hargrove is one of the baddest nunchuku warriors ever, and an american. Impossible, you say? No! Master Hargrove kicks Japanese ASS
12:27 a.m.

gay nunchuks

all the gay ninjas like nunchuks made out of "pony beads"


12:19 a.m.

FOAM NUNCHUKS: $2.99

usually i don't like to send my legions of fans to any corporate bullshit or sales shit or whatever...but this is obviously different, I mean we're talking nunchuks here. foam nunchuks with oriental designs and shit, and for only 2.99. If enough people buy these things maybe the owner of the online store will send me a free pair so i can kick some foam ass.
12:14 a.m.

THE BEST FUCKING LINKS EVER

in case you missed the first month or so of the SHITSTORM, here's all the good shit! Enjoy, punx
12:12 a.m.