pitas I'd like to see:: naked celebrity pita Bob Marley pita falafal pitas last 1000 pitas open pita, but it's only open to porn stars
Personal Shit:: me homepage email me (no large personal gifs, unless you're a hot naked female, please. That means you, Darby!) My Epinions...NOT!
Being Malkmus yo to be honest I don't get this shit at all. some dude linked his page to the shitstorm, so I checked it out. turns out the dude has some kind of secret, exclusive interview with AXL! pretty rad even if it makes no fuckin sense. 12:08 a.m. Bai Ling: Not Naked it's like i always say, the net is just like a bar-- i go online to get drunk, and to get laid. but some nights things just don't go your way, you know? some cockblocker husband shows up at the last minute, you get too drunk to get off the floor, you get your ass beat by some punk who's half your age...on the net this translates into not being able to find hot nude pictures of your latest obsession... instead you get a towel shot and log off without getting off 05:04 p.m. WORLD sex GUIDE wow what a new year. i was up all night and couldn't figure out why no one wanted to celebrate with me, then I realized it wasn't the right day. who knows how many days there are in December anyway? fuckin eggheads in this town anyway, i'm out of here. but where to go? this site does a good job on helping you figure out where to go on vacation, with lots of really good descriptions of various places and the whores who live there. 01:21 p.m. FRANCE: Home of Satanic Car Commercials im not one of those guys who just bashes the french without reason. i mean i like france-- decent whores, good wine, some cheap living. but the satanic toyotas have got to go. fuckin frenchies. 10:35 a.m. Zeta Jones totally naked yeah i know it's been a while since I linked any naked celebrities but so what? I was waiting for one that i really like, and now I've got her. best thing about these pix is not the nudity, cause miss Z isn't even naked, but the fat dude she's chilling with. goes to show that money can't buy you love, but it can get you a romp with zeta jones. so now all I needs is some cheese...shit 02:10 a.m. Amsterdam! I was in amsterdam once, i think it was around July of '83 but I could be wrong. there was this one indo-chinese whore there who just wrung me out like an old dishrag and left me in the street gasping for some hasj or weit. fuckin whores, they're all the same-- once you pay 'em they act like you're some stupid ugly fucker who can't get laid. 11:45 p.m. Shitstorm is NUMBER 1!! It was my lifetime ambition to "own" a search on Yahoo, and now I do. Just click above and find out why I've bought an extra bottle of thunderbird for today. 04:01 p.m. MetaScene only the real cool motherfuckers are down with the scene. What scene? the meta scene, you fucking uncool loser. DAMNIT 10:41 p.m. Japanese Shit! Here at the shitstorm I've run out of shit to link. so I thought I'd just link to shit for a while. -- your pal chaz. Keep those letters coming, by the way. 10:39 p.m. Plane of Flies I tried doing this last nite, but I ended up just sniffin the glue and i just woke up. found this via bud, which has been fixed and is now super high tech just like it was before. 06:26 p.m. Sebastian Bach on the Road man it's been a tough week. for instance last nite i come home, drunk as a dead skunk, boot up my tandy, ready to surf for some porn, when i realize my am is still on!! it has this occaisional problem where it stays on even though i'm inside and don't want it to be on anymore. when i was going out to take the keys out the ignition, I slip on some vomit and end up cracking my fucking skull, which probably would have hurt a shitload at the time but for my medication. once the ludes wore off tho, i was out for a long ass time. then i wake up, finally get online, and find out that sebastian bach's tour isn't coming here. fuckin' bullshit man! 10:46 p.m. USOUNDS my favorite webpage besides this one and a few others. It's all new today... 04:02 p.m. Fork Flash Games i'm not really the kind of guy who spends all day on his tandy playing silly-ass games when the real game is right outside the fucking window-- the gettin high game. doesn't matter how you play it or what equipment you need...for me it's a fresh 'am, a case a beer, and whatever other detrius comes my way. but these games are pretty cool, like the karate one and the spider one. with 3-4 beers in ya they're even cooler. 03:56 p.m. Internet Red Head Club I don't know why I've got this thing for red-headed chiz. Maybe it's the fact that you never know what you're gonna find when you really get to know em. The internet red-head club is full of hott babes like Red Rokit. I think they're all married, course that never stopped ol chaz before!!! 03:52 p.m. maxim mag gossip people are always telling me about tv shows, magazine, and other shit i couldn't care less about. i've got my whiskey and my web, what else do i need man? but that don't mean i don't like gossip from just about anywhere-- even shit i have no clue about, like maxim magazine is interesting from the inside, especially when described by an outsider... 01:29 a.m. madonna naked yeah i know i've been linking to a lot of nude celebrities lately but so what? this is my damn weblog and no one's gon' tell chaz what to do. NO ONE! 01:24 a.m. best free nekkid photo of kate winslet ok ok, i give in. for months now, people have been begging for this URL, so here it is. It needs no explanation, either you love dear kate as I do, or you're a fuckin loser like all the rest. 01:22 a.m. Naked Animals why does google return www.yahoo.com as it top result for 'naked animals?' maybe a better question is: why was chaz searching for 'naked animals' in the first place? if you only knew, you dumb fuckers! ha!
ps. you may have to refresh it once if yahoo doesn't come out on top 06:08 p.m. Sorayama! Anyone who reads this page regularly knows that just bout every night I boot up my 'tandy, crack a few brews, smoke a lil herb and search the net for porn until 130, at which point i stagger outside to catch last call and hopefully some straggler chicks too drunk to realize that i'm the wrong kind of trouble.
those of you who really read this page know that I like artistic porno, and the Japanese fucker Sorayama is the king of hott pin ups. do yourself a favor and crank your stank to something artistic, it's good for the mind. 07:44 p.m. Bruce Willis: the Numbers Game Is Bruce Willis out to take over the world? Find out in this pointless expose. 07:21 p.m. The Buckleman! I used to ride a cycle-scoot, a pretty badazz one that was mostly harley and a little bit indian. fucker nearly got my leg in 78, so i had to sit her down. even when I was a rider I would never, ever, pose in my bucati underwear, the way the buckleman is wont to do. but besides that, the buckleman rawks 12:44 a.m. Bergerj's Droid Page some very odd letters about droids and fecal matter... 02:30 p.m. Naked Celebrities If there's one thing ol' chaz likes, it's naked celebrities. This page has only the good stuff: Catherine Deneuve, Cameron Diaz, Debbie Gibson. The Debbie Gibson one is great, a crotch shot during an interview. That's the best thing about naked pictures of real celbrities, they're almost never really naked-- so your imagination has to do the real work, as it should. 02:26 p.m. Ever get really depressed for like 2 seconds? I know I do, just about every 4 seconds. Then I have one second of drunken haze, and a second of pure electric joy.
If you don't have the sense to self-medicate, you might make the mistake of seeing a pro, you might get something like Venlafaxine, a newer anti-depressant. Check out what it does to you: nausea, vomiting, bizarre dreams, auditory hallucinations. Hey man, I can get all that shit and more with beer, xanax, and low-grade speed for about 20% of the price. So who's really crazy, huh? 12:59 a.m. Angelina Jolie She can collect my bone any time she goddamn wants! I'll be her daddy any time she feels like a midnight cowboy! Girl Interrupted? Not while I'm around, baby! 02:45 p.m. Weekend Warriors Back when I was a kid I can remember this other kid, I think his name was Clarence, and his dad was this guy we called "week-end warrior" because he'd always be passed out on the couch on Sunday with a few coors light cans around him and the tv blaring football.
I always swore I wouldn't end up like that, and I was right! I'm an all-week-warrior baby, I relax on the weekends with some good herbs, and leave the hardcore drinking for the week-days. Well it's Friday so you know what that means: all you weekend warriors do your thing, while ol' chaz is chillin with a fat sack, a badass tandy just hummin' sweet-like, and some G n R blasting 6 ways til sunday. 02:36 p.m. Andy RIchter: SysAdmin? Sure I like Google as much as the next acne-scarred drug addicted semi-homeless guy. But when you do a search for America's sweetheart, Andy Richter, the above link is the first to come up, which calls into question the whole Google ranking system. Does it check links to a page, or just links to the domain? 10:15 a.m. BUD.COM I'm sorry, I like this site as much as anyone else, but what's so complicated about it? There's a sign up there now, it says that bud.com is broken. Broken? The old slogan of this site was 1998 conent, 1995 code.
I guess somewhere along the line the updated the code and made it all fancy and now it's broke. Well fuck that! I didn't shake off a week's worth of hangovers and boot up my tandy to find out a website that doesn't need any fancy code shit anyway is broke. goddamn it my whole week is fucking ruined now. Thanks Bud. 09:44 p.m. web soup a good place to get daily links n shit 09:42 p.m. Russ Meyer on Boob Toob Sunday Russ Meyer, the man, the myth, the enormous tits, seems to be the subtitle of Eonline's treatment of my favorite artist. Russ made films for people who liked to have a good time and enjoy themselves like me. and goddamn it if they don't have a heart, too. For instance in Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, who would have thought that Harris could fall so low, or from so high as it were? And who didn't shed a tear in silent agony when Kelly was so blind to it all. That Lance Rock! Bastard with bedroom eyes. And who could forget Randy Black, and even Baxter Wolfe? We won't even get into Z-man. But damnit all to hell! Open a bottle of Jameson and rent a Russ Meyer film before its too late-- skip the fucking E-online special, which is on at 9 for those of you who have nothing else to do like me. oh yeah and check out this russ meyer page. It takes around 3 beers to load on my Tandy, maybe if you have like on of those DSL cables it will only take like one beer, or even maybe just a sip. But it has every russ meyer movie, synopses, all kinds of shit. it's gargantuan. 11:48 p.m. Do Sexy People Pay Less to Work Out? Goddamn it this is a travesty.
I've always wanted to have tight glutes, ripped arms, and a six pack. Well actually I already have a six pack, it's shlitz lite and I'm bout to drink it right now. 04:49 p.m. G n R Look I get a lot of email. Sure most of it is from horny high-school chicks who want me to cross state lines and visit them in a fleabag motel by the freeway, but i got one today that i just had to answer:
yo chaz!
i need some G n R mp3's now or my wife will leave me!!! Please help!!
--del
well, del, click above buddy. And tell your wife to give me a call when she leaves your sorry ass-- she sounds cool 09:44 a.m. Bjorn's Lunch this was like the first pita or something. now there are about 2 million, but the front page still says something about early adopters.
but actually it was bjorn who got me into the whole home page thing. i was passed out drunk as usual and I woke up behind one of the main streets in town, cigarette butts stuck to the side of my face. I staggered into the nearest doorway to get warm, turned out the place was a radio shack. I had heard you could get free porno on the internet so i typed in porn on one of the tandys and i got to bjornporn.com. I looked for the porno on that stupid site for goddamn ever! but it did give me an idea: if this bjorn was such hot shit and had his own page, I could have one too! so I got one and bjorn was the first person to link me so now I owe him my life, isn't that how it works?
anyway tabouli has changed and is now a kind od international news pita. delicious. 09:33 a.m. John Ousterhout caught flying while drunk Ousterhout! you scoundrel! 07:03 p.m. Hair o the idog that ibit me have you noticed that everything is i-this and e-that. Well e-fuck i-that if you know what I'm saying. It's all the same ol' shit with a new goddamned ewrapper. like if I were to change the name of this page to eshitstorm, would I get more evisitors or maybe even get ewritten up in epinions? ooh I hope so, I'm pracitcally ecreaming my e-acid washed jeans as we espeak.
oh yeah the link above is for an e-liquor store. I've e-linked you directly to an e-irish whisky so you don't have to waste your time with all the ecrap. this is the best istore there is, i reccomend it highly. 10:25 a.m. Dee Snider Speaks to Congress Un fortunately he didn't stand up and say "WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT! NO, WE AIN'T GONNA TAKE IT!"
but he does make tipper gore look like a fool, which i guess isn't that hard but is commendable, nonethelss. oh and by the way this is from 1985. What a year, even though I don't remember much of it, I know for a fact that I scored more ass in the first three months of that year then I did the whole first half of the decade. it's amazing what a local hit record can do for you, and how quick that success can fade and you can become a washed up acne-scarred wino living in a flophouse next to a redheaded whore who might just be a man and doesn't even have a neighbor discount. i need a whiskey. 07:47 p.m. Thailand Pics I'm such a loser.
I started this pita to chronicle just the things in live I really adored-- trans ams, weed, jameson whisky...
and now I've devolved into pictures of pretty pretty thailand and the colorful people and elephants and long-necks there.
I'm pathetic. 12:34 p.m. uncle pete's homepage no, he's not your uncle pete. he just likes to call himself that, for reasons that seem abundantly clear to him and his 25 or so nieces and nephews. Check out the family gallery, or "rogues gallery" wink wink! What a rascal this bekilted uncle pete of ours. 01:12 a.m. Chaz for those of you just joining us, this is the shitstorm
for my personal page, click the link above.
that is all
chaz 01:07 a.m. Jim Thompson Covers If you're not hip to Jim Thompson, well then you're a stupid, ugly asshole. the man could write, and some of the lurid art to his great novels is good jerkoff material even today, if your imagination is good enough 04:16 p.m. Hanna Barbara Rules I may be a acne-scarred, half-blind, drugged out drunk, but goddamn if the wacky races and the hair bear bunch don't make me laugh like a little drunken baby. check out these cool animation cells from HB's heyday, the glorious 1970z 04:09 p.m. 2 college students who like to screw you know there's nothing ol' chaz likes better than that! but so far the only thing I saw were 2 cats, but they looked plenty horny. I'm on there right now, watching, waiting, praying for action. btw the user name is coupleof and the pword is wildkids. I'm not making that up, assholes. 10:31 p.m. Explosions! What red-blooded American doesn't like to blow stuff up? Some of the happiest times in my youth were spent exploding things, until I lost a finger. Of course it was in 1980, I was no longer a youth, and it wasn't really my finger (we were married at the time, so I guess it was 50% mine) but anyway explosions rule, especially chemical ones. 10:15 p.m. Poop Smear This mag is the best-- lots of porno chix. hmm it's like suplemntal material for uptown slummers but as a downtown shit head I still like it. 02:19 p.m. The Konformist all the jonbenet weirdo shit you can handle, plus: how are int'l airport, the queen of england, and the Masons connected? find out in the konformist, the online home of scary,paranoid losers like you and me. 02:17 p.m. Pig Dog Pig Dog: underground weblog. Now everyone has their own, but these guys do it the old fashioned way. Whatever the fuck that means. 09:00 p.m. Ohio Trans Ams I used to hate people who don't drive Trans Ams. I used to despises them, especially those who drove "grand ams" I mean give me a freakin break. But now I just pity those people. 08:56 p.m. Stone Phillips Is it just me, or does ol' stoney kind of creepy? He gets the first Shitstorm Media Craphead Award. Congrats, Stone! 08:22 p.m.
